In the middle of my daily job search I suddenly had the urge to look into different army career paths because I’m always getting those commercials on hulu that are like HEY JOIN THE ARMY, YOU CAN BE A GRAPHIC DESIGNER OR A LINGUIST, YOU DON’T HAVE TO SHOOT PEOPLE so I thought I’d check it out

And then I was like wait, I’m probably not qualified for military service because of my anxiety, so I found the page that talks about health problems and which ones disqualify you for service, and I’m just chillin out scrolling along, reading about how you have to be so tall and weigh so much and have both testicles

and then it hits me. Forget anxiety, I DON’T HAVE BOTH TESTICLES

my dreams are crushed